Organisers of the forthcoming Puntlins Bands in Concert event at the Puntlins resort at Frogmorton-on-Sea have issued a hard-hitting warning about potential rape and kiddy fiddling on site.
Puntlins Director of Communications, Peter Hasgood, said, "We are running a weekend-long brass band contest on a holiday camp. We realise it is quite likely that rape and child abuse will take place. Up until now the brass band movement has managed to keep all this sort of stuff quiet, sweep it under the carpet with a stiff upper lip. In fact some of our leading lights in banding are only there because brass banding as a movement ignored rape and paedophilia or because the victims daren't report it. Some of them have to openly flog their new CD's whilst feeling slightly guilty about what sex crimes they did in the past and the lives they ruined. However, the world has changed now. Nowadays you only have to touch a female student inappropriately and the News of the World is running on overtime".
"So we are warning young girls coming to the contest that they may be raped and or kiddy fiddled, depending on their age. The poster sums it up. What it says is if that happens to you at Puntlins then we have already warned you about it and can be held in no way responsible, legally".
