Wednesday 26 December 2012

Chonbibbly Buck the Trend!


The Chonbibbly (Consierge Exocet Missiles) Band have bucked the trend by announcing that they will not, no way, not even never, be starting a youth band.

Band manager Giles Limberg said, "It is very popular these days for brass bands to launch a youth band. We all want to continually bombard the movement with positive spin and PR, and embracing the average elderley brass band concert punter and band supporter with news of embracing kids (but not in a dodgy way, like we did in the past) is seen as a way of endearing us to these people. However, we have decided that a youth band is not the way forward".

"We have found that brass banding is full of expensive cheats and charlatans who fail to deliver on their promises and simply do not justify the money lavished upon them. Our last harvest festival raised £173.44 and we took all the stuff ourselves. I suppose we are lucky in that Alan on Eb bass is a good gardener and brought a load of veg and Jean on third cornet is an excellent baker so we had the pies and flapjacks".

"Two months later a bloke arrived on the scene who said he would take us to the Area Contest and we would most likely win with him, but it would cost us £200 cash-in-hand. We went with him and came 10th. Even with the £173.44 we raised at the harvest festival we were still £26.56 out of pocket. And that's only because the band all walked the 34 miles to the contest so we didn't have to book a bus".

"Starting up a youth band would only open us up to more money-grabbing thieves. It ain't gonna happen. Not on my watch".